Confused, advice please?

Im so stressed it makes me physically sick. Most recently (having waited two years to go to college) I am just now going, which is exciting but im so stressed about everything (from fafsa to registering for classes) it feels far from worth it at this point, im so stressed i don't want to eat, i'm so restless when i want to sleep. and it's not just school, it's everything. im an artist and everybody thinks im just not working on my art but in reality every time i do something im disappointed, its not good enough. the same with my music, no matter how good i get and how good i sing i feel unaccomplished. im left with feelings of frustration so intense i shake and am angry. I have plenty of people who love me and had a great childhood. so it's not that. sometimes i just want to be hugged so bad it brings me to tears. it's not like im deprived from hugs either, i don't really understand. I was put on many diff medications, switching from one to the next. it made it worse. ive talked to doctors and psychologists. I was open and so ready and willing to let whatever this is go but nothing is happening, i can't even identify why i feel so horribly discouraged and frustrated all the time. I want to give up. ive contemplated running away and not telling anyone where i am, try to start a new life, but ive moved many times and basically done that (besides not telling my family) and my hopelessness goes wherever i do. then in my mind, i start to think that only leaves suicide but i don't want to give up that easy and i can't poison my family that way. I'm stuck. every morning i feel disappointed, nasty and nauseous, i don't want to get up.i don't feel like i'm living. i know its horrible and i really just needed to talk to people who won't take these feelings personally.